Hope Restored Today...

I am reading So Long Insecurity by Beth Moore.  She seems to have this way of leading you into Bible study that breaks you apart and pulls out all the painful pieces.  Then she picks you up and carries you lovingly, and honestly, to the Redeemer.

Last night as I read and pondered, I began to think of some very specific insecurities, fears, and jealousies I had. (I posted about this yesterday.)  I even made a list.  And that's where I stopped.  With that list stuck in my head I posted a blog, went to bed in dire emotional straits, and woke up feeling the same.  It was hard to get out of bed today.  Hard to walk out the door.  Hard to turn around and come back again.   Everything felt so heavy.

What was I thinking?  Ending my day with a list of how I fall short?  A list of things that make me feel guilty?  A list that makes me feel really terrible about who I am right now?

So this afternoon I sat with that list.  I looked at it one more time and then I prayed.  I prayed tears streaming to the floor nose clogging eyes burning prayers until it lifted.  And oh, did it lift!

It all came back to one thing.  No matter what other people think, no matter what my actions are, no matter how others act towards me, no matter what I have or don't have, is it enough that I belong to God?  If I had nothing else in this world, is it enough that I am His?  What other hope is there than to know:

My God doesn't change with my emotions or my actions
He is the beginning and the end
He is the author and perfecter of my faith
He is the one to whom my spirit cries out, "Abba, Father!"
He is the one who formed me in my mother's womb
He is the one who renews my mind
I am his
I am clothed with Christ!

Days like this used to defeat me.  A funk that could last for days, even more than a year at one point.  But not now.  Not this day.  Because now I know the Truth.  And whether I feel the Truth or not, it doesn't change.

I can imagine what this day could have looked like if I didn't know Jesus Christ, my Lord, my Savior.  To remain walking around with that list in my mind.  Feeling defeated.  Without hope.

Oh Lord, thank you for drawing me near.  You are God my Savior and my hope is in You all day long.  I can walk out the rest of this day knowing that I am Yours, and that is enough.  If all anyone can ever say about me is that I belong to You, that is enough.  So help me Lord, to live as Yours today. And when insecurities, fears, and jealousies creep up trying to steal my joy in simply belonging to you, bring me to my knees as you did today.  Thank you Father. Amen.

Looking for more encouragement in this area?  Click here... http://www.holleygerth.com/heart-to-heart-with-holley/2011/10/4/you-are-enough.html